55 of my favorite fake Michael Jordan tweets

  1. I had a dream last night about lots of cats and enormous rabbits in a barn. Friday, June 18, 2010 9:30:02 AM via web

  2. I like the smell of the rain. Saturday, June 05, 2010 11:47:15 AM via web

  3. I just don’t understand why England still has a Queen. Tuesday, May 25, 2010 2:19:01 PM via web

  4. I banged my knee real hard today. Saturday, May 15, 2010 8:26:23 PM via web

  5. I think I’m done with eating Green peppers. They are the worst pepper, and always make a meal worse. Saturday, May 08, 2010 8:32:26 AM via web

  6. I’m a little surprised our cars aren’t more futuristic by now. Sunday, April 25, 2010 11:43:00 PM via web

  7. Sometimes, I have a week or two when I remember how great pop music in the 80s was. This week is one of those times. Tuesday, April 13, 2010 7:10:26 AM via web

  8. What should I eat for dinner? Thursday, April 08, 2010 8:39:51 PM via web

  9. On a clear nice night : Look at the moon from binoculars or a telescope. It will blow your mind. Wednesday, March 24, 2010 1:42:21 AM via web

  10. I’m so sick of using batteries. Monday, March 22, 2010 12:46:48 AM via web

  11. I woke up this morning and thought to myself, this spring I’m going plant 50 trees. Any recommendations? Monday, March 08, 2010 7:31:56 PM via web

  12. I don’t think I need to try any new fruit. I’ve had enough different kinds for now. Saturday, February 27, 2010 10:10:36 PM via web

  13. “Life must be understood backward. But it must be lived forward.” — Soren Kierkegaard Wednesday, February 17, 2010 6:22:52 AM via web

  14. I was just thinking… How do airplanes work? Monday, February 15, 2010 10:02:55 PM via web

  15. I sometimes wonder what’s going on in Australia. Or, maybe Japan. Life must be a lot different over there. Thursday, February 11, 2010 11:25:01 AM via web

  16. I’m going through an ice-cream float phase right now. By the way. Friday, February 05, 2010 2:00:28 PM via web

  17. Why doesn’t anyone go on picnics anymore? Wednesday, January 20, 2010 1:21:37 PM via web

  18. Now that I can see some of my television channels in HD, I want all of my television channels in HD. Better yet, I’d like to see them in 3D. Thursday, January 07, 2010 12:46:11 PM via web

  19. I’d love to find a new Root Beer that really knocks my socks off. I’m worried that I’ve tried them all. Thursday, January 07, 2010 12:17:08 AM via web

  20. I’ve never used a sword or ridden a horse. I have never been in space or in the deep ocean. There are so many things I’d like to try. Thursday, January 07, 2010 12:05:32 AM via web

  21. I’m going to read all day one of these days. Wednesday, January 06, 2010 2:04:14 PM via web

  22. On new years, I had way too many shrimp. Sunday, January 03, 2010 8:04:02 PM via web

  23. I just read : No stars are so close to Earth that radiation from their supernova would seriously affect us. (phew) : tinyurl.com/yadt7z6 Monday, December 07, 2009 6:57:57 PM via web

  24. Do you think Dragons ever existed a long long time ago? Monday, December 07, 2009 6:05:01 PM via web

  25. Peyton Manning is my favorite person in commercials. Wednesday, December 02, 2009 4:09:16 PM via web

  26. Do a lot of people get music and movies for free off the internet? I just found out this was a popular thing to do. Saturday, October 24, 2009 1:34:34 PM via web

  27. I ate a whole cheese pizza. Saturday, October 03, 2009 2:04:10 AM via web

  28. The Fall is coming, I miss raking leaves and those golden trees and low red sunsets. What a beautiful world we live in. Thursday, October 01, 2009 12:43:56 PM via web

  29. MJTwitterSecret : I love going to Science Museums. I’ve been to 10 different Science Museums in the US. Thursday, September 17, 2009 10:58:28 AM via web

  30. Its one of those days where I have too many pairs of shoes to pick from and I don’t want to wear ANY of them. Wednesday, September 16, 2009 1:25:39 PM via web

  31. Laptops are great, right? Tuesday, September 08, 2009 12:09:37 PM via web

  32. I might learn to play the guitar better. Thursday, August 27, 2009 10:30:22 AM via web

  33. Wrestlers in the 80s were like fat uncles, now they are all monster men. I liked it better before. Thursday, August 13, 2009 12:46:31 AM via web

  34. I think things were better before the internet. But now that its here, its here to stay. We better just enjoy it. Monday, August 10, 2009 8:29:38 PM via web

  35. I think I might go out and buy a nice hat today. Monday, August 03, 2009 10:11:35 AM via web

  36. I like root beer better than beer. But I like a root beer float better than root beer alone. Wednesday, July 29, 2009 7:18:07 PM via web

  37. I’ve always enjoyed looking into a mirror thats in front of another mirror and seeing the infinite loop of mirrors that follows. Tuesday, July 21, 2009 10:38:13 AM via web

  38. Going to drink some SUPERFOOD NAKED JUICE and eat a banana. Tuesday, July 21, 2009 10:34:43 AM via web

  39. I love listening to the theme song from Rocky. Thursday, July 16, 2009 3:00:48 PM via web

  40. Its too hot. I want perpetual spring. Wednesday, June 24, 2009 5:52:44 PM via twhirl

  41. I’m going try and read this afternoon. IF I don’t get too distracted. Sunday, June 21, 2009 3:05:30 PM via twhirl

  42. I just have to say, this has been a beautiful spring so far. The best we’ve seen in years. Thursday, June 04, 2009 10:01:05 AM via Echofon

  43. I am drinking too much Gatorade lately. But, its really great after a bike ride, and I love sugar. Friday, May 29, 2009 2:37:06 PM via web

  44. This new Star Trek Movie was a great time. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Tuesday, May 12, 2009 12:56:17 AM via Echofon

  45. Watching the John Adams series from HBO — Its pretty great. Wednesday, May 06, 2009 9:49:21 AM via Echofon

  46. I love the Krautrock. Sunday, April 19, 2009 5:25:12 PM via Echofon

  47. Going to the zoo. Friday, April 10, 2009 10:12:36 AM via Echofon

  48. Michael Jackson = fun disco morning fun. Friday, March 27, 2009 11:34:53 AM via Echofon

  49. I’m riding bald eagles in yellowstone this afternoon. Thursday, March 26, 2009 10:13:34 AM via web

  50. going to spend the rest of the week in north dakota- thats odd Tuesday, March 17, 2009 10:06:57 PM via Echofon

  51. I need to take a trip to the officesupplies store, because I got a new office that has only a 1970s steel desk and old chair. And old walls. Wednesday, February 18, 2009 11:19:26 AM via web

  52. I want to read more about HISTORY. Sunday, February 01, 2009 11:45:10 AM via web

  53. pancakes or applecakes or plum pie? Wednesday, January 07, 2009 3:27:04 PM via web

  54. my cat is sick :( Monday, January 05, 2009 7:28:33 PM via web

  55. I woke up with a swollen ankle. What, am I 65? Monday, December 29, 2008 9:46:39 AM via web