They’re bringing this rock and roll into my park and siphoning off my fun!

In 1978, Kiss came out with a direct-to-TV movie called Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park (also known as Kiss in the Attack of the Phantoms). I really want to see this movie.

Apparently, the entire thing takes place in an abandoned amusement park (not in the movie – in real life) and the band plays themselves (a group of rockstars/superheroes). Basically, this movie is X-men meets scooby doo, but with Kiss. In the movie, I found out, Ace Frehley (aka Spaceman) has the ability to teleport and shoot lasers, Paul Stanley (Starchild) has mind control (and also laser powers), Gene Simmons (Demon) has super-strength and fire breath (with lasers), and Peter Criss (Catman) has “leaping powers” (no lasers!). So obviously the band chose their own powers, but Pete was passed out at the time. Probably from smoking too much catnip (off a hooker’s tit, I bet).