An unauthorized contest for an unauthorized biography

Tacker has previously expressed interest in writing an unauthorized biography of Billy Joel.  I really want this to happen, and if it does happen the book needs an awesome title.  Here is what Kelsey and I have come up with so far:


The Joel Nine Yards

Joel in One

Like a Joel-ing Stone

The Joel Enchilada

Joely Moley


Does anybody have anything to add to the list?