Beerblaster is not a Popularity Contest … or is it?

I’ve been poking around in the statistics for our humble little blog and Marilyn is far and away the the most popular Blaster. Her posts have been viewed 1817 times, more than triple the number of views for the second place Blaster (Heather) and eight of the top ten search terms that lead people to the blog use the word “boobgasm.”

I also notice that I’m only more popular than two other Blasters. Now, I know we’re all friends here and this isn’t a popularity contest but I am going to act like it is. So, the rest of this post will be written specifically to boost my numbers.

To achieve a boobgasm, gather the following supplies.
One (1) roll of duct tape
Two (2) popsicles (flavor of your choice)
One (1) regulation boobgasm glove
Place your right hand into the boobgasm glove. This is a needed precaution when achieving a boobgasm. While facing North, wrap your left hand in duct tape and raise both hands over your head and begin to sing the second verse of “The Star Spangled Banner.” After the second stanza, consume both popsicles as quickly as possible. Stop singing and read the jokes from the sticks out loud, translating them to Esperanto. You will now feel the boobgasm in its “growing” or “nursery” stage. Do not be alarmed. Resume singing until full gasm is achieved.

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